It can sometimes be difficult to make time for ourselves, give ourselves space, spend money on ourselves or engage in self care. This could be for a variety of reasons and sometimes it is because we are not valuing ourselves.
We may not see ourselves as being worthy of time, space, financial investment or self care. And sometimes we may not be conscious that we are not seeing ourselves as having enough worth to invest in ourselves.
Maybe we constantly prioritise our children’s needs over our own. Perhaps we feel that having time to ourselves or spending money on ourselves is selfish. Possibly we feel that our self care activities or giving ourselves the space we need is frivolous or an unnecessary luxury. Maybe you’re struggling with this self care advent calendar challenge.
If any of this sounds like you, are you able to ask yourself about how you and others (including your family) benefit from you prioritising your needs. And what is the impact on you and other people in your life if you are not valuing yourself?
I have recently been running myself ragged. I have been focusing on trying to do all of the “stuff” I felt that I needed to be a “good mum,” working on setting up offering these services and trying to prepare for Christmas and my son’s birthday. It felt (and sometimes still feels) like I’m am constantly working without giving myself enough rest or self care. (I am actively working on changing this!)
I have been telling myself a story that I just need to get through all of these things and then I can have some self care. I have also been telling myself that I shouldn’t be spending too much on my self care as I’m coming to the end of my maternity leave and money is a little tighter. And yet I think nothing of financially investing in my son.
Maybe some of this sounds familiar to you?
A few days before setting up this advent calendar, I realised that I couldn’t continue doing all of the things without nurturing myself more. I also acknowledged that I was not as engaged as I wanted to be as a parent and that I was grumpy and tired. This is not how I wanted to feel in myself or be with my family.
I also thought about how after prioritising self care and space for me, I am a more fun mum and a more empathetic partner. I also feel better in myself and have more energy to serve other people powerfully through my work.
So, I knew it was time for a change. Time to value myself more as an important asset for myself and other people. That is why I started this challenge as a way of prioritising my self care and sharing this opportunity with all of you. And it’s working because I’m prioritising these activities each day.
And now I want you to ask yourself if there are stories that you are telling that are getting in the way of you prioritising yourself now? Stories that are stopping you from giving yourself space, time and sometimes the financial investment you need to feel good (or even great).
Is it time for a change? What can you do today to invest in yourself?
It will look different for all of us. Maybe it’s giving yourself time for a walk or a self care activity that you know you need, taking a shower by yourself, space to have a phone call with a friend, buying yourself a coffee or booking yourself that massage you’ve been longing for. Tune in and really acknowledge what it is you need right now.
Then I challenge you to find a way to nurture yourself today (even if it feels challenging) and show yourself how much you really are worth. And remember the value of putting on your oxygen mask first before helping other people.
Today, I’m going for a facial that I booked a few weeks ago. I am going to rest and let someone else take care of me.
Maybe you already prioritise yourself. Great! Celebrate whatever you are doing for yourself today.
If this still sounds like a real challenge for you and you are ready for a change, I would love to support you.