Asking for help can be a huge challenge for many of us even though it can be crucial for our wellbeing as pregnant and new parents. And there may be lots of stories that we’re telling about asking for help that make it feel hard.
For example, we may worry that we’re a burden or about someone saying no. And sometimes people may say no to our requests for help. That is something we may struggle to accept or we may appreciate them being honest about their boundaries.
Or we may worry that we’re not worthy of help or that we should be able to do something ourselves. When I was pregnant, I cried because I needed to ask my husband for help putting on my wetsuit shoes – even though it’s hard enough when you don’t have a bump and he really didn’t seem to mind.
Recently, in my overwhelmed state, I was telling myself a story that I had to do everything and hadn’t considered asking for help. As I started to focus on my feelings and needs, I started to take better care of myself. In this calmer and more grounded space, I realised that I needed some help.
And, when I clearly asked for what I needed, people were often happy to help me. The message above is from a couple of days ago. I had been battling to link Instagram and Facebook for what felt like days. It finally occurred to me to ask a network of fellow coaches for help. And, guess what? I had a helpful reply within minutes and someone else was helped by me asking.
Today, I’m going to ask my husband for help to wrap presents.
What could you use help with today (or in the near future)? Who might be able to help you?
If you find yourself hesitating to ask, is there a story that you’re telling yourself that’s getting in the way?
If you find that you’re regularly struggling to ask for help (and you want to break this cycle), this is something that coaching can help with. More information about coaching is available here.